Never Piss Off the God of Funerals
by JerinAnn
Summary: A couple of random teenagers decided to vandalize a graveyard without knowing they were being watched. Rated M for mature content and language. One-shot. Main characters are of my own creation.


**A/N: So this is a loose play on the Kane Chronicles. The only character who is really in it is Anubis, but I decided to try to write this. This is a third person story. I hope you all enjoy this short one-shot. ~JerinAnn**

**Never Piss Off the God of Funerals:**

**One-Shot: Third Person:**

Rick, Jesse, and Alex –three teenagers– thought the night was going to be one of fun and games, but they were wrong. They didn't expect to have someone watching them, especially one of high status. They thought gods, monsters, and ghosts were jokes and tales to scare children into going to bed on time until they met the supernatural face-to-face.

They walked to the local graveyard with spray-paint in one hand and a case of beer in the other. They came up with the brilliant idea of vandalizing the cemetery while they illegally drank some booze, of course.

They were laughing and pushing each other like morons while they opened the gate. Alex glanced around the graveyard, feeling uneasy, like he was being watched. "Let's just get this over with. This place is giving me the creeps."

"You sissy," Rick slurred. "Nothing's going to grab you. You clearly haven't have enough to drink." Rick shoved another beer into Alex's hand. "Drink this while we work. When you feel more relaxed, you can join in."

Rick grabbed his paint and sprayed 'How can I rest in peace while I'm under dirt?' on a few grave stones.

Jesse rolled his eyes. "That's not funny, dude," he slurred. "This is." He wrote something on the wall in red. "It's warm down here" he read aloud.

Rick threw his head back. "Dude, that's just wrong."

Jesse and Rick kept arguing while a figure walked in the shadows. Alex spun in the direction of the movement. "Guys, there's something here."

"Oh shut it, you cry baby," Rick sneered. "If you're scared than leave."

The figure walked out of the shadows. Alex yelped and almost passed out in fright. The figure was eight feet tall, wore a skirt-like thing, and a golden collar. That wasn't the scary part: instead of a human head, it had the head of a dog, a jackal to be precise.

Alex, being the smartest and most observant out of the group, ran out of the cemetery and all the way to his house without stopping, all three miles.

Rick and Jesse hadn't seen the figure yet so when a terrible voice boomed "HOW DARE YOU DISGRACE ME AND THIS SACRED GROUND?!" they jumped a few feet into the air. They whirled around and faced the creature. Their eyes widened in fear.

"Who... who are you?" Jesse asked.

"I am Anubis: god of funerals and a protector of the dead. You dare to disgrace these people by ruining their memory and final resting place?"

"It was all in fun," Rick mumbled.

"Idiot!" Jesse hissed as Anubis growled at them. Anubis pointed at a grave and hands popped out of the ground.

"I'll show you fun," his hissed as he morphed into a sixteen year old boy wearing a black leather jacket, black pants, and a gold chain. His glare was still as menacing as it was in the other form.

The two boys screamed as the dead hands grasped their ankles, holding them in place. They tried to twist their ankles out of their clutches, but it was no use. Anubis summoned mummy linens out of ground and set them at the feet of the terrified boys.

He eyed them like he was planning their death. "You tow are to clean this place, and if you do a good job, I'll let you live."

"But it's permanent!" Jesse cried out.

"That isn't my problem. Your friend was smart to not participate or he would have never been able to leave," Anubis mumbled. He looked back at them. "Well? You have until the sun rises to clean this up. I would start now if you value your mortal lives."

Jesse and Rick lunged for the cloth as the hands let them go. The boys picked up the cloth and ran to the fountain to soak them. They worked on cleaning until their hands rubbed raw. They scrapped the graffiti off the walls and graves, they picked up the litter cluttering the ground, and they whipped the leaves off most of the tombstones. They sighed when the put the last trash in the garbage bin.

"Well done," Anubis congratulated grudgingly, disappointment filling his voice. "I will honor my part of our bargain. You will live to see another day. Use this opportunity well." With that being said, Anubis melted into a blanket of black fog.

Rick and Jesse blinked in disbelief. They couldn't believe what they had just witnessed. Rick turned to look at Jesse. "Who spiked our drinks?"

Jesse shrugged and walked out of the cemetery. Rick hesitated for a second before following him out. One thing was for certain, Rick, Jesse, and Alex were never going to another cemetery until absolutely necessary.

**A/N: So, I hope you all enjoyed this short one-shot. I don't remember how I came up with this idea, but I decided to just write it. I hope you all have a great night. Happy reading. ~JerinAnn**


End file.
